Lots of changes

It's been almost a month since my last post. I still get hit with feelings of overwhelming grief when I think about Ruth. It is so different without her quick kisses and playfulness and her sense of loving. My heavy heart weeps along with the tears that flow uncontrollably at times. I haven't brought myself to wash the blanket that covered Ruth that last morning. It still has her smell and I find comfort in burying my face in it and taking in a deep breath.



I know time will ease the pain... it always does.

After Ruth left us, I didn't want a new puppy, another one to eventually tear my heart apart. About a week or so later, the name "Anna" came to me one night while I slept. It took a day and a half for me to share with Bud that I wanted to start looking for her, I knew she was on this earth waiting for us to find her. I know my previous post talked about Anna... but I needed to write about the ending and beginning one more time.


We brought Anna home on February 11th. Born on January 3rd, she was a tiny little girl, but she grows leaps and bounds every day!

At first, Beth wasn't quite sure what to think of her, and we quickly remembered the 24/7 of care we hadn't experienced in over 9 1/2 years! Anna is learning quickly, she's a smart girl.

Anna was 2 months old yesterday! She received a red collar and a new toy - plastic teething keys made especially for puppies! She thoroughly enjoys playing with the keys, but scratches constantly at the collar! She is figuring out that she can't walk and scratch at the same time!

I have accomplished some things toward my 2009 goals. In time, I know I'll get back on schedule totally. I have managed to work on some Christmas projects while Anna sleeps at my feet, or in my lap, or in her daddy's armpit! She loves to crawl up in his lap and snuggle her face down in his jacket's sleeve... for now, that's her safe place.

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Blessed rain

I woke up to a slow steady rain falling outside. It was wonderful and lasted until about 8:00. Over all, I think we got over an inch and a quarter! We so needed it, and would gladly take more!

It started off being a productive day, at least, I was preparing for a productive one when I suddenly got dizzy and threw up a couple of times. What bug got a hold of me, I have no idea. The nausea and crazy vision stuff is gone, but the wooziness in my head is still there somewhat. Fortunately, I did get the majority of laundry done yesterday when we got home from Dallas. I have a couple more loads to do, and then get everything put away. Bud is going into town this afternoon and will take care of grocery shopping and the banking business for us.

On Saturday, while in Dallas, I searched the Internet for ads in local papers and found a lead for "Anna" - Beth's baby sister! She's only about an hour away and we will bring her home on Wednesday! Looking forward to adopting Anna has helped in dealing with the pain of losing Ruth. It's important to Bud and I that we get a baby sister for Beth, because we don't know how much longer we have with her. It's important for Anna to know Beth, who knew Ruth, who knew Sara, who knew Sadie - so the line of knowing will continue.

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First day without Our Ruth Girl

Today begins our life without Ruth. She will be dearly missed.

I can't seem to come up with what to write today... I need time to grieve, be sad, and reflect on our life with Ruth before finding a "normal" life again.



Thank you, my dear sweet Ruth, for bringing such joy to our lives.



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How quickly life can change

Ruth is not doing well this morning. At first she seemed better. She jumped off the bed (4:28 a.m.), albeit slowly, and walked in the living room, then outside and down the steps. She was a little wobbly while she pottied, but then, coming back up the stairs, I noticed how she was dragging her right foot. Bud had gone back to the bedroom and I realized she might need to do a poop, so back outside we went. She managed to take care of business and as we came back inside, her right foot kept getting worse and worse. Bud came back into the living room and, with her standing in the same spot (she tried to move closer to him, but the foot wouldn't work correctly), we did our usual morning routine... a "tooth brush" and she ate it just fine. Her walking was non existent so Bud picked her up and put her on the couch where she's been since.

I gave her a peanut butter covered baby aspirin about 5:00.

Bud & I are thinking about making her a boot of some sort so she doesn't have to worry about which way her foot is positioned. Putting weight on it doesn't seem to be a problem. It's just the position. We will see how that goes once she's moving, or at least trying to move off the couch.

Ruth fills my prayers....

I started a blog to detail our journey.

Ruth feels poorly

Yesterday evening we noticed Ruth not acting as perky as usual. Every now and then she would be her normal self. She even played with Beth on several occasions.


This morning, she is the same. When we went outside, she took care of business then came back on the porch and stood next to me with head cast down until Beth and I were ready to go back inside. She seems dizzy. She won't get up on the couch. I put out a blankie near me, but she selected her other "safe" place, underneath Bud's desk. Before she settled in, I gave her an 81 mg aspirin covered in peanut butter. It was after she eagerly cleaned off my finger that she went underneath his desk. She has not stirred since. Hopefully, she'll feel better by the time Bud wakes up.


Bud just came into the living room and Ruth greeted him, along with Beth. After getting bunches of scratches and loving from us both, and encouragment from her Daddy, Ruth got up on the couch. Still she seems like she's dizzy.

I know, she's 10 years and 5 months old, longer living than either Sara or Sadie. She's a trooper and my prayers are filled with her getting better soon because my heart is not ready to let her go.

UPDATE: Ruth ate a good breakfast. She actually got up, went into the kitchen and watched as Daddy prepared their food. Afterwards, we all went outside and she found the perfect spot to potty. We are all back inside and I've turned up the heater and Ruth found her place in front of it to get warm! (It's not all that cold outside - 36 - but the wind chill factor most likely makes it about 28)

She still wobbles some while walking, keeping her head down for the most part, but she did eat good and has kept her food down. Several days ago, she did throw up an hour or so after eating and after she got a big drink of water. Yet, between then and now (last night) she was seemingly feeling okay.

Generally productive

I completed another '09 Christmas gift yesterday and have started two more! One is computer based... collecting thoughts and jotting them down... the other is a yarn project. It seems that January is a good month for me to do these things. I am still filled with the spirit of giving and we have days it's too cold to do much of anything else.

Bud repaired the flagpole and we got it back up! The Marine Corps flag is flying!!! When we get another set of attachments we will fly both US and Corps flag. That will be an awesome sight!

Bud also worked on the wooden crochet hook handles for me! I tested one out last night before he glued the shortened hook in the drilled hole. Only minor sanding adjustments are needed before they will fit my hand perfectly! Already I can tell what a difference to my hand/fingers the thick wooden handle will bring!

I am so blessed that he has changed, modified, and constructed so many things around here to help me deal with the Rheumatoid Arthritis. He is always showing me how to utilize tools ... such as a screwdriver to open those new pop off vegetable can lids... or like to use a can to roll over the tube of toothpaste to squish the remaining paste toward the end... so many things we take for granted until our hands don't work right anymore!

Well, the status toward my organizing/cleaning/de-cluttering: I am still working on the bathroom. I will finish today! I trashed bottles and bottles of vitamins and supplements I bought YEARS ago and put away in a plastic tub to "organize" but, because they were out of sight, they were also out of mind.

NOTE: Just because something is not used in the last several months or even a year, it cannot be my test to trash or keep. Because living out in the country, some things are needed to keep on hand "just in case" and I can't get rid of them!

Things in the bathroom are looking much nicer... it's not Martha Stewart... but it's much better than what it was!

It was the 12th Day of Christmas

Yesterday, more specific, last night, I removed the last bit of Christmas from the living room!
Another season has come and gone.

Already I am preparing for the next series of gift giving! Some projects are completed, a couple are almost done, and I have ideas mulling around in my head for more! The majority of Christmas 2009 will be handcrafted gifts using different mediums. Hopefully, I will not purchase any new materials but utilitize/recycle those cluttering up the back bedroom!